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| 01:11am 24/06/2005 |
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1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't search around and look for the coolest book you can find. Do what's actually next to you.
"We have the upper two floors." |
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Read 1 - Post |
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| 06:24pm 21/06/2005 |
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mood:  unfocused music: Revolution-Stone Temple Pilots
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Well thank you for not killing me, I'm feeling wonderful. Just a cough left for me. I'm almost better and I have a good 5 days left before I'm off. Book me now cause visits will be cut short for the next two months. More ghosty activity, but just from things I see at the corners of my eyes, and of course my friend the whispers.
On a less awesome subject, I can't seem to focus my eyes anymore. It's getting me in trouble in my driving because it's almost got me crashed four or five times now. I don't know what's wrong with me, but every time I try to focus my eyes, it's just so hard to keep them focused. Shit, it's kinda scary. Half the time I feel I'm totally dazed/ It's just plain confusing. Anyway, leave much comments to make me feel important, and to book me for the day. |
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Read 17 - Post |
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| 04:39pm 20/06/2005 |
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JUST KILL ME!!!!!!!!!!! *COUGH WHEEZE* |
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| Grr I'm Angry |
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| 05:27am 20/06/2005 |
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mood:  sick music: Smile-Pearl Jam
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Argh, hate! This damn disease (meningitis scare!) is going to kill me! Either it's meningitis, the bactereal kind, cause I have all the beginning symptoms, and then I'll die cause its practically worse than E-bola, orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'll just die from lack of sleep because coughing my throat bloody keeps me up all night, orrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr I'm gonna OD on Nyquil really, really soon. Shit flap. This just plain old sucks cause I've gone through like an entire bottle of the Nyquil liquid stuff, and that junk tastes like doom that's been packaged and manufactured, not to mention I think it's slightly alchoholic, which must do wonders for my throat on the way down. I lost my singing voice too. I was working on a song and now I can't because I can't sing and can hardly speak. Cough cough, hack hack. That's how my days are going by. |
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| 07:28pm 19/06/2005 |
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I'm sick. My throat hurts, I have a cough, and I can barely speak. I am so bored, watching paint dry would be more entertaining than this. Camp in a week, and I prepare. Oi/ |
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| Scary scary monsters! |
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| 08:40am 16/06/2005 |
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mood:  scared music: Liquid Tension Experiment-When The Water Breaks
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I think I have a haunted mirror in my bathroom. I saw a monster in it. Honestly, like I'm not calling myself ugly or anything. Here's the story. I had just finished drying my hair after I hopped out of the shower, and I was getting it out of my eyes and in some semblance of order and I looked down breifly and I looked back into the mirror, and i had the shit scared out of me cause what I saw was something with like, dead, haunted eyes, pointed teeth in a snarl full of hatred, skin stretched taut over bone and a look of bloodlust in the back of its eye so great it scared the shit out of me. I stumbled back, you know, all surprised and shit, and I looked back up at the mirror and it was just me again. It was definately a ghost story/haunted house moment and I'm still a bit shaky from it.
I'm actually worried. This house makes me hear things. I'll be lying awake in bed or in the shower or something, and juuuuust on the tip of my hearing someone's whispering. And it's not anyone I know because the whisper is always full of malice. It's like the scene in Poltergeist when the girl is listening to the static in the TV. Oh, and when I say lying awake in bed, I mean at like 4 in the morning when I'm the only concious...living thing in the house. So I'm wondering, is my house haunted or am I finally going plum friggen' loco? Is this gonna be an Amityville Horror incident? |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| Stress |
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| 05:07am 15/06/2005 |
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mood:  So bad, words don't work.
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It seems to me that I'm stressed over something. You know, here I am, at 5:07 AM, after no sleep, writing this. I'm not thinking completely clearly, but I've a cup of tea steapling beside me to make sure the fog clears enough to see. Anyway, sleeplessness is caused by stress, for me anyway. I spent most of the night thinking about the past, and it gave me an upset feeling in my tummy and my heart. I'm too damn sentimental. I miss everyone, and everything. I think it was something Erin said that's keeping me up. I'm never home, and once I finally get back, I'm shipped off to somewhere else for a while. I found myself thinking about Danny, actually. By the end of the year last year, he and I were really close. We were like brothers, we laughed, we sighed, we tweaked like monkeys, whatever. At the end of this year, I hardly know him. Or anyone else. I think what made me hate visiting LS is the fact that, half a year ago, if I had walked in and said hi to Tom or Jimmy or Ry (whom I didn't even see that one day) or Colin, it would have been a big celebration. But last time it was a quiet, distant hello exchanged between strangers. I hate what space and silence do to people. I thank whatever damned deity we should be worshipping for the people I've stayed close with. Especially the Box. The New Box, and if you think about it, we are. Eric S, Eric P, Chris K and I are the New Box. Remember the Box? WAAAAAY back in the day, in 8th grade? We were just kids then. What are we now?
I played the saddest thing today. It was about 3:36 and I had just finished trying to sleep. The morning and I were already good friends at this point. I sat up, picked up my acoustic and what came out was so heartwrenching, so brutally depressed, I felt like dying. Seems to be the guitar's a window to my soul.
I hate this feeling. I don't feel like I belong anywhere. I'm a ghost. A drifter. A fuck-up, a SNAFU, a let-down, Jesus H Fucking Christ and...and cunt to make the swear longer, the list goes on! I could sit here calling myself shit, but that would be like trying to count the stars. Can't do it without a highlighter. (To mark off the names I already said.)
I'm in a slump. I'm bored, listless, and lackluster. Ha. It's almost funny, how movie-like I feel. The classic teen, oh no one understands me, I'm all alone, depressed, blah blah blah. Almost funny.
So I have a, as I said earlier, buncha muncha cruncha appointments to take care of today. Orthodontist, and first I have to go to my sister's travel fair. They grow up so fast. I heard this year it's supposed to suck. Partners and they can only pick African countries. Sigh. Ah well, see you all when I decide to stop...whatever. |
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| I have water. I have thousands of water! |
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| 11:32pm 13/06/2005 |
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So I slept over at my friend Jack's house. It was awesome. We played a lot of music, played some Halo, had a toke (Boy that was fun. SMOKE IN MY EYE! And catching the lit side with your upper lip!) And on the way down to the basement for Halo, I asked Jack for water and he replied with 'Dude, I have water. I have thousands of water.' Then we watched The Bogeyman and Hellraiser 4. It was AWESOME. SWEET! |
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| Camp approaches |
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| 04:43pm 12/06/2005 |
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mood: discontent music: Atlanta-Stone Temple Pilots
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Soon I'll be off to camp, with no contact to the outside world aside from your letters
Josh Goldberg
Kabeyun
P.O. Box 325
Alton Bay, NH 03810
Thanks. Remember to write a return adress so I can send a letter back. |
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Read 4 - Post |
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| 01:41am 08/06/2005 |
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Well I've been back for a while and haven't updated forever. I played Lacrosse this season, defence, and I loved it. I'm still with guitar very much, and my dad left his wife and moved into a gated community in Waltham. Eric P gave me my favorite name ever, 'Punk Jackal.' Eric S and I are gonna hang out tomorrow or sunday, possibly both. My mother of course is martyring herself over everything she can, and let me tell YOU something, it is refriggendiculous. I'd say I love it but I don't want to lie. I don't feel like going to LS...I just don't know anyone there anymore. If you want to get together with me, we'll schedual something, I'm sure. Anyway, love and explosions, jatek, exlenet, place, beef stew, and whatever, good god.
-Josh |
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Read 7 - Post |
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| I'll miss you |
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| 11:28am 28/03/2005 |
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mood:  depressed music: Show Me How to Live-Audioslave
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Well this just sucks, now doesn't it? I leave for school tonight at like 7 with about 100000000000 lbs of stuff. I don't get to go to LS because I have 'way too many chores' and my mother is out so I get to type this. I haven't said a proper goodbye to anyone and I hate it. I have ANOTHER (4th since I've gotten back) ortho appointment today at 2. Also, I won't be back for like 2 months, that is if I'm even allowed to come back to my mother's house. I don't know how many times I can repack my bag. Especially with all this new crap. Well god damn. I'll miss everyone I don't get to see. |
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| 05:03pm 27/03/2005 |
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mood:  aggravated music: Where I'm Going-Down; The Deep-Gary Hoey
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Well it sure is good to know my mother is completely self centered and 100% against giving me any type of praise whatsoever. Even in all my shows that she's seen, I tend to get 'it could have gone better' from her more often than good job, even though everyone else I speak to says flat out, good job, or more. When it comes to grades, nothing is ever good enough for her, and then she goes into a little speech about how she was always an A student and I should learn from her example. Just recently, I showed her what Eric managed to salvage from A Sack Full of Awesome, and when I say salvage, 4 of the tracks didn't work. Anyway, this is definately some of our best stuff, and again, everyone else I've shown it to has loved it. She says 'it's alright, but it could definately use some work.' She thinks, I do believe, that if she's done it before, she's better than everyone. It's the same way with my sister and her drawings. She shows a piece of work to my mother, which tends to be a show of much more talent than a girl of her age should even have, and my mother says 'it could be better.' Jesus. She wonders why I'm always so angry at her. |
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| Computer Issues |
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| 06:23pm 25/03/2005 |
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So my computer had broken down once before, and it did the same thing a few days ago, but seemed to have fixed itself. Sweet.
Eric and I are almost done with A Sack Full of Awesome. It's a jam cd full of some of the best jams I've ever jammed. Awesome. Just a few days left in vacation. Boohoo. I'll miss it here. |
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| So long has felt so short |
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| 08:17pm 20/03/2005 |
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mood: Don't wanna go to school! music: Them Bones-Alice In Chains
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A day left in Florida, and a week left of break. I don't look forward to the end. In the last week, I intend to hang out with both Erics, jam with Tom and Jimmy and Ry and Scott, uh...see a movie, drive some more and uh...stuff. It's been fun in Florida, even though I called my grandmother and she got pissed off that I wouldn't come see her. Not that I could (1 and a half hour drive each way) or that I would (I just generally don't like her). Well I'm lost at what to do when I get back to school. How will I protect my guitar? Probably put it under lock. Yeah, that's what I'll do. Still, I have no name for it. Well, another six week gauntlet at school and then I'm back for like a month. Or more. And then camp for two months. Sweet. |
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| 03:00pm 15/03/2005 |
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mood:  Reflective music: Set Me Free-Velvet Revolver
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Well I'm home. I have been for a while. The Sunday I got back, I hung out with Eric S., and we saw a 3 boobed hooker! I was at school Monday, and Tuesday and I hung out with Eric P. on Yuesday and Saturday. Friday was Coffee House and I played in a song with Rift (Ry, Jimmy, Tom) The four of us seem really close all of a sudden. Anyway, I played Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You by the 75th best rock band in the world, Spinal Tap. I got a new guitar on Monday, and I was originally going to name it Valhalla, but that name doesn't suit it. It's better than that name. http://media.zzounds.com/media/brand,zzounds/p26459b-d1363bfc9b7590a4236af6f1f8eb647d.jpg There it is, but the paint is red(along with the neck) and it fades to yellow in the middle, with tiger striped all over the body.
On Saturday, Eric and I played Escape Velocity Nova for a while, watched Myth Busters for like 3 hours straight, and watched part of the Red Dragon, along with, as usual, jamming.
I made a song about everything terrible, and most of the lines were written by Eric S. It's called Dead Puppies. He thinks I bastardized it, but I think it's funny. It's about dead puppies, Lacie Peterson, Andrea Yates and the tsunami. |
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| I'm home! |
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| 01:59pm 04/03/2005 |
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I'm HOME. 3 weeks! 2 here, 1 in Florida, sunny land of the dead! I'm getting a new guitar, and lacrosse gear. w00t. |
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worlds_shadow's journal
